We all get nervous around new people from time to time, but does the fear of social judgment keep you from making new friends? Do you struggle to put yourself in social environments because there may be someone you don’t know? Is it hard to be out in the community because of fear that other people may be judgmental? You’re not alone. Many people struggle with social anxiety, especially those who live with disabilities like paralysis, because it can be hard to feel different. In the spinal cord injury community, many people report feeling anxious in social environments in the first few weeks or months after injury. Living with your “new normal” and introducing yourself into the world after injury may cause feelings of uneasiness that differ from regular shyness.
Shyness can make you feel uncomfortable sometimes, whereas social anxiety may feel like your discomfort is so strong that it is beyond your control and interfering with your everyday life. You may even have physical symptoms of anxiety when you’re around people, such as sweating or a faster heartbeat. Your social anxiety may impact all different areas of your life, from school, work, activities, and any other environment with people. Thankfully, there are many ways to combat this. It takes time, but with patience, practice, and often the support of a therapist, you can overcome your social anxiety and start enjoying life around others.
First, remember that growth happens outside of your comfort zone. You might think it is impossible to stretch your limits, but the trick is setting manageable goals for yourself. If you can just take one tiny step forward, you may be surprised by how things unfold. As a therapist, I always say avoid jumping into the deep end of the pool. There is no need to insert yourself into overwhelming situations that you know will be too much for you. If you know that attending a large party may cause a panic attack, practice self-care, and skip the party. But is there another type of social engagement where you could slowly dip your toes in the water? Could you try having coffee with one person at a time? If that feels like too much, could you try having a video chat with someone? If that still feels too taxing, how about a text conversation?
I want you to consider the smallest opportunity where you could just go one or two inches beyond your comfort zone, and don’t ever compare your starting point to anyone else’s starting point. We all have a different level of comfort with social engagement. If all you can do is send one text message to one person at a time, that’s great! Start there. Allow yourself to be comfortable with that. Then over time, push yourself to take one step further. And then another step further. You can pause at any point. This may be similar to some of …….