Ever since elementary school, I’ve experienced intense fear during social interactions both virtual and in person, whether it was as small as figuring out a response to a text or as big as presenting at a work meeting. These are hallmarks of social anxiety, a phobia of being judged, negatively evaluated or rejected in a social or performance situation, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America. Social anxiety is one of the most common mental disorders around the world, Fallon Goodman, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of South Florida, told CNN’s Chasing Life podcast: “About 4% of the world population will have social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives, which is roughly 300 million people.”
It can really limit a person’s life. “Clinical social anxiety is that level of social anxiety that keeps you from really living your life,” Wendy Suzuki, a professor of neural science at New York University, told Chasing Life. “It keeps you inside because the fear of having these social interactions is so high.”
“The treatment of choice (is) cognitive behavioral therapy, as it is with most anxiety disorders,” clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, a professor of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, told Chasing Life. “If you can help a person change how they think or perceive about a situation, you’ll likely change the reactions and the behaviors.”
I decided to try cognitive behavioral therapy nearly two years ago.
Unpacking the fear through CBT also involves learning how to realistically evaluate anxiety, become more emotionally resilient, and shift one’s attention in social settings to being fully present and engaged. Some therapists include social skills practice and small exposure to usually avoided activities, according to Think CBT, a therapist-led organization based in the United Kingdom.
A life unlived
I remember being a shy and worried kid at a very young age. When my father and I would discuss some family issue, he’d see the anxiety in my face and emphatically say, “Don’t worry.”
The apprehension was ingrained in my personality, and it got worse as I got older. My earliest memory of debilitating social anxiety happened when I was 14 — a reflection of the trend that over the past 50 to 60 years, the average age social anxiety begins has gone from 20s to ages 12 to 14, Goodman said.
When working at internships or jobs, I frequently took different routes to avoid unexpectedly encountering people when I hadn’t prepared anything to say. In social situations, I’d become so scared and preoccupied with the possibility of judgment that my mind would go blank.
My reactions felt like a medical crisis: My hands shook, my stomach turned, my armpits got clammy, my body tensed, I stammered. Sometimes I had trouble visually focusing on whatever was in front of me. I even went to the hospital 10 years ago because my heartbeat had been suddenly speeding up before my …….