You get a text message from a good friend: let’s catch up this weekend? You stare at the screen for a moment. Once, you would have flicked back a smiley emoji. Count me in. Name the time and place.
Now you are hesitating, over-thinking the details: where they want to meet, who and how many will be there, if it is an Omicron risk, if they are all vaxxed, even what you wear.
Going out feels so hard, and your own couch is so comfortable, you find yourself looking for an excuse to bail out.
What’s going on?
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Welcome to a new kind of social anxiety, the loss of “social fitness” brought about by two years of Covid lockdowns, restrictions on activities, working and schooling from home, isolation and loneliness, and health and safety worries.
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There has been a significant decline in the casual contact that fosters psychological wellbeing.
As well as fewer social events, there has been a significant decline in the casual contact that fosters psychological wellbeing, helps combat loneliness, and makes us feel better about ourselves and others.
Those small interactions – greetings, smiles, gestures and small talk – promote courtesy and tolerance, too. Think working with others, taking public transport, and engaging with people on the street, in stores or elsewhere.
Without that contact, our social muscle weakens.
We feel more shy, awkward, or uptight in company, less inclined to meet new people, or even get together with friends , and less interesting when we do.
When you have barely left your house in weeks, it is a stretch to make compelling conversation. Latest Covid stats, anyone?
Social anxiety is different
Social anxiety, clinically speaking, is a treatable psychological condition marked by fear, anxiety and avoidance that impacts a person’s relationships, personally and professionally.
Like most therapists, I have worked with people who struggle with social anxiety. It goes well beyond shyness: there …….